So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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