So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
