It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
