My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
