well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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