last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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