You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
