i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
