I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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