This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
