I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
