just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
it's like heaven, but drunker
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
why is half of my head shaved?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
