sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize
