dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I am naked and annoyed.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
