I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize