i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
