Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Don't tell me you're on acid again
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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