Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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