Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
