Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
