you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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