T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
