He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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