i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
