We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
