I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
