Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Why is there bacon in the couch?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize