apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
