So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I need a beard to bite.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
