I got chris browned last night
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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