remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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