so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
