it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
