I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
