So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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