Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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