marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
