I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
