What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
