need another drink. this is the easiest way
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
