yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
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