Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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