I can text with my tongue
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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