Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
