that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
