Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
