She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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