call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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