The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
