Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
