its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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