I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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