That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
