Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
