Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
