I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
