Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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