Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Is Oprah even human
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
